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The good, the bad & the WTF?!

The team here at TOTM like to keep abreast of innovations in women’s products. We’re definitely fans of the natural and organic, especially when it comes to things you insert inside or use around your vagina. Apparently not everyone else agrees!

The last few years have offered a wealth of fascinating and sometimes downright disturbing novelties. With lots of chemically-laden ways to ‘treat’ your vagina or pubic hair. We’re firm believers that our natural vaginas need no improvement, but – just for laughs – here’s our helpful guide to some of the most surprising products from the past and present.

  1. Pubic hair dying If you’re concerned (ahem) that the curtains don’t match the carpet, or the inevitable has happened and you’ve hit fifty and the shades of grey have arrived, then fear not, your pubic hair can be turned into a veritable rainbow of colour. If you so wish.
  1. The Cuchini Camel Toe Guard We’ve all been there. Heading out for a night out in our favourite spandex catsuit when you catch a passing glimpse of yourself in the hall mirror and your vagina is shouting louder than the outfit. Thankfully for you, the team at Cuchini have developed a range of products to preserve your modesty. You can choose from discreet tape (imagine the ‘ouch’ when taking that off) to a cushioned pad. Apparently the Kardashian’s are big fans.
  1. Scented or coloured tampons Really? Imagine the chemicals that are going to be loaded into these bad boys. I really don’t need to match my tampon with my outfit, thanks. And let’s not forget that the vagina is the most absorbent part of your body, so they are going to be leaching chemicals right inside you. Bleurgh. Totally toxic.
  1. 18 Again Vaginal Shrinking Cream We kid you not. And with the tagline ‘Feel tight and wanted again’, this brand is taking no prisoners in what it promises to deliver. Vaginal Shrinking Cream appears to be having its moment in the sun, as there are now a range of brands that you can choose from.
  1. The Whirling Spray Douche set This early 20th Century device was originally marketed to ensure a lady’s feminine scent doesn’t descend into an odour. As the product essentially gives you a good old fashioned flushing, it used to be, and worryingly may still be, used as an alternative to contraception (definitely not recommended). More recently, the product has gained popularity on the gay scene.
  1. The Jockey Stay Cool Vagina Cooling knickers The Jockey Stay Cool knickers promises revolutionary Outlast® Technology which regulates your skin temperature to keep your nether regions nice and breezy. We’re quite happy with our Bridget-Jones’s, ta.
  1. The Va J-J Shield This marvellous device provides a nifty shield for your vagina. These are times of equal opportunity after all. Whilst the boys have their groin guard for sports, us ladies have our Va-J-J Shield to protect us on the sunbed and from over zealous bikini waxers. And in case you’re worried that the Va J-J Shield is going to damage your sexual allure, fear not as the product promises to ‘bring sexy back one va j-j at a time’. Thank goodness for that.
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